Peonies Talk

I labored day and night in culminating tangible projects. I took shots at whatever are available and can be done within my means.I ceaselessly do things to the point of breaking my back figuratively.I plant and can only anticipate to harvest in not so or so distant future.I am a creature with extreme energies to expel.

But I felt like exhausting my bullets at peripheral shots. I have too much practice but I can’t the hit the bulls eye.. or am i just too impatient?

A good buddy of mine told me yesterday her secrets for success. She prayed definitively and earnestly for objects and persons.And God so far have not failed her..Failures in relationship are a given but twas she said blessings in disguise.That made me think hard, have i prayed definitively for things to happen in my life?Truth to tell, I lost count when I stopped praying earnestly.I just stopped. If ever I prayed,twas like murmurs, there was no depth.

Or perhaps I just chose to forget those nights when I hollered and cried before HIm.Or perhaps I have become apathetic  or I just without care let fate took its course. Events,circumstances and phenomena are not my own designs and I unknowingly surrendered in full circles into them.

All told, there is this certain uncertainty that keeps on hindering my track.This discontent..this paranoia, I can’t even define in words. Perhaps, I am this person whose soul is raging, bursting with needs that even a delightful calmness can not quiet.

~ by tigerlila on March 18, 2008.